From the outside, making a living in the world of beauty seems so glamorous. However, some parts of it are far from it. Getting to know clients very personally and having them open up to you about how they feel about themselves brings a harsh reality to the beauty I create. Some ladies do it without even realizing it…women of all ages.

In a world full of filters, extreme makeup tutorials, and a 24-hour world of social media at our fingertips, I have noticed at least myself asking. ‘What is real?’


Every single day we are inundated with beautiful images of women around the world, women with super full lips, flawless skin, beautiful hair, perfect bodies, most trying to sell you something, and some may even be people you know. It may even be you. We as women eat, sleep, and breath these images in every day, admiring how beautiful these women are, but with the never-ending stream, I have noticed more and more of a trend.

With perfection everywhere, the downward spiral of positive self body image is growing.

Since the beginning of time, we as women have compared ourselves to other women, but these moments were brief. As a woman who has lived more than half of her life without social media, I can tell you these moments were fleeting. I lived most days just looking in the mirror and at those women and girls around me and, in general, felt pretty good about myself.


Working with women of all ages, I can tell you I can see this hand-held world of perfection affecting our beautiful young girls most of all. I see these girls filtering every picture, watching over-the-top makeup tutorials and applying it to themselves every day, posing in extreme ways or finding that right camera angle to enhance their ‘ass’ets, and exploiting themselves to have more ‘followers’ than anyone else? What does that all mean? Is it superficial? NO!!

These girls are seeing themselves through the lens of their phone, searching for approval in the form of ‘likes’ from others, and spending their lives obsessing on portraying themselves in how they now see themselves.

Don’t get me wrong, I love makeup and beauty. I love seeing it, I love creating it, and I love helping others see it in themselves. Makeup is fun, putting in a little extra time getting ready is fun once in a while, and experimenting with different looks is fun. Obtaining this perfection daily is exhausting, and expensive, especially when influencers tell you that in order to obtain it you need this $100 curling iron, $60 eyeshadow palette, and $40 mascara. I see teenage girls getting their nails done on the regular, having to have name-brand everything, and expecting that these products are how to be beautiful. These teenage girls use more expensive makeup sometimes than I do, and I use makeup to make a living. Trying to look like Kylie Jenner is fun, but trying to look like Kylie Jenner every day is exhausting, expensive, and not real. Generic.

These girls that sit in my chair are beautiful, pretty much flawless, but in their words they can tell me about every imperfection.

I am never aware of my aging more than when these teenage girls are my clients. I look at them and see beautiful skin, shiny long hair, sparkly eyes, tons of energy, healthy bodies. They look at themselves and see that their lips aren’t plump enough, their cheekbones aren’t as high as they would like, their thigh gap isn’t big enough, or that their hair isn’t as long and thick as they want it.

What is real, their distorted body image of how they see themselves, or mine of that flawless beautiful young girl?


Sadly, it’s not just the young girls; I see it in women of all ages. I meet women who have lost tons of weight that can still only see the heavier version of themselves, now with ‘all this loose skin’. I see a woman who has changed her life, putting herself first for once, and takes amazing care of herself, I see beauty. I meet women turning 40/50/60 who have gained a little bit of weight, but still in a size I can’t even imagine ever fitting in, that obsess over the size clothes they are wearing. How their skin isn’t as tight, and ‘those wrinkles’. I see a woman who looks fabulous, that doesn’t even look anywhere close to their age, and who is even more beautiful when she smiles because of all the hard times she has overcome.

What is real, their version of themselves or mine?

I’m not unaffected by this either, I myself, like most women, struggle with the image I see on camera versus the image I see in my head. I have people tell me all the time that I am beautiful, yet I tend to go right to ‘my’ problem areas. And they are just that, mine. Most people don’t notice them, but I do. These areas though are what make me, me. These are the areas that make me unique. Even though I have these areas, don’t have on a full face of makeup, or am tagged in an unedited unposed picture that doesn’t perfectly conform with the image of myself that I have in my head.  It doesn’t mean I’m not still beautiful.

What is real, the image in my head of what I should like, or the outward appearance others see?


To strive for perfection in life is something we all do but to expect perfection in ourselves and in our day-to-day lives is dangerous. Seeing an image of yourself in your head or one portrayed on social media that is flawless does way more harm than good. Lighten up, love yourself, and embrace your (what you see as) flaws, your weight, those wrinkles.

Loving yourself and who you are is beautiful, and that is REAL.